Men’s Crisis of Identity: A Call for Submissions

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On the Good Men Project’s #StopSexism’s Interest Group’s convocast, moderated by Kara Post-Kennedy, we discussed the men who are outing themselves and admitting to abusing women. The group took the time to explore why.

Power and Money

The one thing men know for sure is that power and money define success. It is confirmed on the job, in the media, among friends, and by their faith. Power and money put men above mere mortals and bestow an insulating layer that removes them from social constraints and consequences.

Emotional Suppression

From childhood, males are taught to suppress their emotions and females are taught to suppress their assertiveness. Hence boys were assertive and girls were emotional. The truth is that all children are endowed with same traits and instincts – for a reason: it’s human. The suppression and denial of emotions are what got this society to where it is today.

Now, as men are asked to take ownership and responsibility for their actions, they may be plagued with confusion. Everything they know says they haven’t really done anything wrong. Their faith supports and gives them a sense of entitlement, but their bubbling feelings say that something’s out of whack.

Identity Crisis

The result is a male crisis of Identity. Confused and angry that men are being called out for behavior that they’ve known about, witnessed and/or done for years. Some are surprised even that women even have a reaction, much less negative. It is enough to undermine a personal surety that all things are fine the way they are.

As the inner conflict reaches the consciousness, male life becomes more tenuous. Questions of what, why and how the disconnect is now present. The comfortable has become uncomfortable and questions abound.

The Enemy

The enemy that has brought this awakening has to be fought and vanquished. The problem is, the enemy is nowhere to be found. One can’t blame the victims. Who’s left? Men themselves.

The patriarchy has assumed rights and privileges based on a faulty premise. To end its hold on society, people must work together to release their very human masculine and feminine abilities, eliminate societal barriers that target what we are and embrace those that emphasize who we are.

It’s all about relationships. Good relationships are the pillar of a healthy and rewarding life. Finding, developing, and maintaining relationships is only possible when we present our authentic selves.

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We want to hear your point of view. Do you feel you’ve been victimized by a society that fails to recognize your multi-dimensional self? Have you ever wanted to break free? What kind of changes would you make?

As you contemplate or have achieved a change in your approach to life, how has it affected you? Your relationships? Your attitude?

Life is very complicated. Living as a fraud, bottling emotions and letting others dictate your choices, is fraught with traps that hinder your authenticity. Are you on this journey? How has it impacted your life so far? If you could share a list of behaviors that changed your life, what would they be?

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