Why Sex Can Be a Hurdle for Men Over 40

Editor’s note: This article is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended to diagnose or treat any condition. Erectile dysfunction can be a sign of serious health issues. If you have erectile dysfunction, see a licensed healthcare professional in person.

Erectile Dysfunction or (“ED” — the inability become erect or maintain an erection) commonly occurs in men over 40, affecting one in two men. This article explains a different perspective on why sex can become such a hurdle and the specific steps a man can take to make it to the end of the sexual race without stalling, regardless of his age.

We think of ED as something that just happens as we age. This isn’t altogether true, there are several factors which can be contributing to the problem. You’ve probably heard of the term “use it or lose it.” This is also true for the sexual muscles in your body. If you don’t exercise the groups of muscles used for sex and therefore don’t keep yourself sexually fit, then these muscles can atrophy and lose their ability to perform.

Now I know you’re going to say to me, “But Jacqui, my partner doesn’t always want sex as much as I do!” Although this may be true (and I have specific strategies to overcome that issue too!) there are still specific exercises which you can do to improve the strength and virility of your penis. This will eliminate one of the contributing factors toward ED of “I’m not using it, so I’m losing it.”

If you live a sedentary lifestyle and spend much of your time behind a desk, or you are overly busy with teens or work commitments, don’t let either become an excuse to not exercise your essential sexual muscles. Without exercising these muscles specifically and regularly, then week by week you will continue to lose muscle tone. This is why by the time a man reaches 40, his lack of relevant exercise and inert state may have started to impact his sex life.

Regardless of how busy your life is, throughout the day there is always “dead time.” This is the time spent waiting for the kettle to boil… waiting for someone to finish up in the bathroom… waiting for a report to print… There are many times throughout the day when you can convert that dead time into valuable “Sexercise” time which will have enormous payoffs in the bedroom!

If you want to enjoy great sex well into your eighties, then you need to maintain (or attain) a certain degree of physical fitness and prime your body for that reality. Sex requires a certain amount of physical strength and fitness in men. If your sex muscles aren’t strong, then you won’t last long enough, it’s as simple and logical as that. It’s important to not only strengthen the penile muscles but also the surrounding muscles. These other muscle groups support you in achieving great sex.

No-1 Penis Strengthening Exercise

This exercise will strengthen your penis muscles, and thereby make it easier to attain an erection on demand. It can also help restore any size lost over the years. Sometimes your partner may surprise you unexpectedly and this exercise can ensure you are always welcoming that event, so you don’t cause your partner to think you are losing interest!

Think of it as a bodybuilding exercise for your penis. You can do this exercise while sitting in traffic on your way to and from work, or sitting at your desk. Flex your penis muscle (this is what you instinctively do when you are urinating, and need to stop the flow of urine.) Now, what I want you to do is flex your penis muscle and keep it contracted for the count of 5. Then relax. Repeat this procedure 20x. For maximum effectiveness, do 20 repetitions of this exercise 2-3 times a day.

The Best Core Sex Muscles Strengthening Exercise

This is an oldie but a goodie. Push-ups. Also known as press-ups, push-ups engage nearly every muscle in your body, including all your core sex muscles, making it an ideal sexercise to do in your “dead time.” Instead of lowering yourself all the way to the ground, simply lower yourself halfway down. This easier version enables you to do faster repetitions, which increases your physical fitness as well as your sexual strength.

In your first week, do 10 push-ups 3x daily. Then increase to 20 push-ups 3x daily. You will be surprised at how good it feels to not only regain control over your muscle programs but also to see your body regaining its earlier shape and fine form. Admiring your well-formed muscles is a turn on for both you AND your partner, which also aids in attaining an erection!

In summary, do your penile exercises while you are confined to sitting and waiting, then push-ups while standing and waiting – or in the advertisement breaks while watching TV. In committing to doing these exercises consistently, you can overcome two of the common hurdles of age-related ED. These include regaining your sexual strength and stamina – as well as earning some well-deserved confidence and self-esteem.

RSVP to join weekly calls on Love, Sex & Relationships

What Next? Talk with others. Take action.

We are proud of our SOCIAL INTEREST GROUPS—WEEKLY PHONE CALLS to discuss and help solve some of the most difficult challenges the world has today. Calls are for Members Only (although you can join the first call for free). Not yet a member of The Good Men Project? Join now!

Join The Good Men Project Community

The $50 Platinum Level is an ALL-ACCESS PASS—join as many groups and classes as you want for the entire year. The $25 Gold Level gives you access to any ONE Social Interest Group and ONE Class–and other benefits listed below the form. Or…for $12, join as a Bronze Member and support our mission.

#rcp_user_login_wrap {display: none;}.rcp_form fieldset {padding: 10px !important;}

Register New Account

Choose your subscription level

Credit / Debit Card

By completing this registration form, you are also agreeing to our Terms of Service which can be found here.

*Payment is by PayPal.

Please note: If you are already a writer/contributor at The Good Men Project, log in here before registering. (Request new password if needed).


ANNUAL PLATINUM membership ($50 per year) includes:
1. AN ALL ACCESS PASS — Join ANY and ALL of our weekly calls, Social Interest Groups, classes, workshops and private Facebook groups. We have at least one group phone call or online class every day of the week.
2. See the website with no ads when logged in!
3. PLATINUM MEMBER commenting badge and listing on our “Friends of The Good Men Project” page.
ANNUAL GOLD membership ($25 per year) includes all the benefits above — but only ONE Weekly Social Interest Group and ONE class.
ANNUAL BRONZE membership ($12 per year) is great if you are not ready to join the full conversation but want to support our mission anyway. You’ll still get a BRONZE commenting badge, a listing on our Friends page, and you can pop into any of our weekly Friday Calls with the Publisher when you have time. This is for people who believe—like we do—that this conversation about men and changing roles and goodness in the 21st century is one of the most important conversations you can have today.


We have calls about these topics 7 days a week! Join us by becoming a Platinum or Gold member. (Click on the graphic for more information about the calls and to RSVP for them.)


We have pioneered the largest worldwide conversation about what it means to be a good man in the 21st century. Your support of our work is inspiring and invaluable.


“Here’s the thing about The Good Men Project. We are trying to create big, sweeping, societal changes—–overturn stereotypes, eliminate racism, sexism, homophobia, be a positive force for good for things like education reform and the environment. And we’re also giving individuals the tools they need to make individual change—-with their own relationships, with the way they parent, with their ability to be more conscious, more mindful, and more insightful. For some people, that could get overwhelming. But for those of us here at The Good Men Project, it is not overwhelming. It is simply something we do—–every day. We do it with teamwork, with compassion, with an understanding of systems and how they work, and with shared insights from a diversity of viewpoints.” —– Lisa Hickey, Publisher of The Good Men Project and CEO of Good Men Media Inc.

If you believe in the work we are doing here at The Good Men Project, please join like-minded individuals in The Good Men Project Premium Community.


better world


Get the best stories from The Good Men Project delivered straight to your inbox, here.


submit to Good Men Project


Sign up for our Writing Prompts email to receive writing inspiration in your inbox twice per week.


We have pioneered the largest worldwide conversation about what it means to be a good man in the 21st century. Your support of our work is inspiring and invaluable.

The Good Men Project is an Amazon.com affiliate. If you shop via THIS LINK, we will get a small commission and you will be supporting our Mission while still getting the quality products you would have purchased, anyway! Thank you for your continued support!

Photo credit: Getty Images

The post Why Sex Can Be a Hurdle for Men Over 40 appeared first on The Good Men Project.

(via The Good Men Project)

Add Comment