Disempowered men dream of being “alpha males.”
The fantasy is that finally, they can order people around, they don’t have to take guff from anyone, and of course, most important, they will naturally attract a harem of beautiful women just by the nature of their own social dominance.
But according to Stanford’s Robert Sapolsky, humans are more complex, and that unlike gorillas say, we belong to several social circles. The nerdy guy might “slay” the room from a comedy stage and get mobbed by admirers in the bar afterward. You can be a leader in one place and not in another and skip the whole trap of an “alpha” role altogether.
The thing about Alpha males is that they are sitting targets. By definition, they are constrained to defend their socially dominant position by continuous battle. Their social position enslaves them to how they have to spend their way—and watch their backs.
In essence, they live a life without choice.
I find that there is a far more powerful model of being a male human today—the Conscious Man. As Arjuna Ardagh, one of our speakers in today’s Inspired Man Summit Series writes (along with John Gray):
A Conscious Man is not a superior man. He is not more evolved or more accomplished. He is certainly not richer or more virile or more powerful. He does not have bigger muscles or a hairier chest or a faster car. The Conscious Man, in the way we use the term, simply means a man who has put some attention, and therefore some choice, into the expression of his masculinity. He is living his art rather than his automation.
The conscious man is a free man. He is not identified by bulging muscles and battle scars, but rather by the fact that he loves fully, listens deeply, navigates his anger with thought, steps into leadership roles when called to, keeps his word, keeps his sense of humor when things seem dark, honors the feminine, and cultivates historical and cultural context.
The conscious man lives at choice, moment-by-moment, which Arjuna leads us through this source of genuine power in today’s session.
In our second session, Jayson Gaddis, host of the Smart Couple Podcast and author of the encouragingly named program “How To End Dumb Fights Quickly,” introduces a specific kind of power in his session – the power to avoid unnecessary drama in relationships.
It fascinates me that people rarely put in the same research to develop relationship skills with the same diligence with which they develop professional skills because if you ain’t happy at home, you ain’t happy!
Jayson walks us through 4 “superhero” relationship skills that will make your partner heard, grateful, and impressed. It’s hard to imagine a more important set of skills for any man (or woman).
And finally, we spend an hour with Rich Litvin, co-author of The Prosperous Coach, and who is widely known as a premier trainer of coaches, worldwide.
Rich opens you up to still another kind of power; I consider him a master artist of the possible.
In our hour together, Rich teaches you how to ask the kinds of questions that open you to what he calls “exponential thinking,” which can lift you out of a lifetime of self-imposed limitations on what you thought you could accomplish in this life.
In fact, he will take you even beyond exponential and show you the value of setting what he calls “impossible goals.”
People hire coaches to both get clarity and to get help advancing toward their most important goals.
Today, we have three highly regarded and accomplished coaches who—if you listen closely—will bust you up to realizations of whole new levels of personal power.
And from there, it’s up to you to step into the life you actually want.
A life not of default, not of playing a role, alpha or otherwise, but the most powerful life of all: a life of choice.
The Good Men Project is an affiliate of the Inspired Man Summit. If you purchase an event ticket or membership, we may receive a commission. Thank you!
If you believe in the work we are doing here at The Good Men Project, please join like-minded individuals in The Good Men Project Premium Community.
Photo credit: Getty Images
The post The Inspired Man Summit Day 5: How to Be Stronger Than an Alpha Male appeared first on The Good Men Project.
(via The Good Men Project)