It’s the holiday season and that means you’ll likely be attending lots of parties, which means you’ll be doing lots of mingling. But if you’re like many people, the thought of mingling with complete strangers either fills you with dread or just seems like a chore.
Well, my guest today on the show has spent her career teaching people how to mingle and even have fun while doing so. Her name is Jeanne Martinet and she’s the author of the book The Art of Mingling. Today on the show, Jeanne shares tactics you can use to overcome your fear of mingling and then walks us step-by-step through how to talk with complete strangers at a social event. She starts with how to seamlessly join a conversation, how to keep the conversation going once it starts, and how to exit a conversation without it being awkward. Jeanne then walks us through actions you can take if you get snubbed or if you end up putting your foot in your mouth.
If small talk is something you struggle with, this show has a ton of actionable advice.
- How Jeanne came to start writing about mingling and social skills
- What is “mingling”? At what point does it transition more into just “conversation”?
- Isn’t mingling and small talk shallow? Why can’t we just jump into deep conversations and topics?
- Techniques to make mindset shifts in uncomfortable social scenarios
- The “invisible man” technique
- Why “just be yourself” is actually poor advice
- The first thing to do when attending a party
- How and why to adopt the mindset of the host in any social setting
- Mingling and food/drink
- The 4 best opening lines/maneuvers
- Why your opening line shouldn’t be about someone’s career
- How to use flattery (including with other men)
- Properly using the “fade in” technique to enter a conversation
- How to maintain a conversation, but also still scan the room for new opportunities
- How to manage civil conversations in a tense political climate
- Politely ending conversations in mingling situations
- How to handle social rejections
- How to follow up with people you’ve met at social gatherings
Resources/People/Articles Mentioned in Podcast
- Jeanne on The Today Show in 1992
- The Art of Conversation
- AoM’s Social Briefing Series
- Podcast: Small Talk and Difficult Conversations
- The 3 Elements of Charisma
- Podcast: The Charisma Myth
- The Importance of a Good First Impression (here’s a podcast on the same topic)
- Using Body Language to Create a Good First Impression
- How to Make Eye Contact the Right Way
- How to Follow Up After Meeting Someone in Person
Connect With Jeanne
Listen to the Podcast! (And don’t forget to leave us a review!)
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Read the Transcript
(via The Art of Manliness)